Kelley Irwin

One day in Nov 2022, I made a call and asked for help. Sounds so simple now.

We were days away from a formal medical diagnosis of dementia.

Dad had multiple health issues and was feeling sick lately. He then fell and broke his hip and underwent surgery. Mom was taking care of Dad. I was taking care of Mom. We were spending 12+ hours/ day in the hospital. I was attending meetings from hallways and waiting rooms.

One day Mom was looking up synonyms for exhaustion (drained, depleted, sapped, fatigued, enervated) because she didn’t think that one was strong enough. It was at this moment I realized we needed reinforcements.

My husband had told me he had a GO bag ready. I called and said “I think we need you now. We have eaten oatmeal for dinner the past 4 nights because we can’t think.” He simply answered “I’m on my way.”

It takes time for me to accept each new reality as we take this journey. Since that day, I have learned to reach out more often to ask for help or sometimes a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen.

I value having a family that pulls together for celebrations and difficult days. I also appreciate every person who shares their story with me of a parent, a spouse, a friend who has/had dementia. It’s a club I never asked to join, but I feel the strength of the collective. We don’t have to travel this path alone.

Photo of me picking up my husband at the airport. The relief is so apparent on my face.