Kelley Irwin

#one day last month (Jul 2025), I thought about striking a balance when speaking with aging parents.

Many of us who are care partners of aging parents want to help, but worry about overstepping. If you’re like me, you want to make things easier without taking away independence and personal choice.

In July, Mom broke her foot. She was instructed by the doctor to wear a boot and told it would take 4-6 weeks to heal. She was leaving in 2 weeks for a trip to Canada. My brother would fly with her one way and I would join her for the return flight. ✈️ She was certain she would heal quickly and not need the boot. I asked her gently if she believed she was healing faster than 20 year olds. We found a middle ground after discussions of how long the airport walking is and how a single person stepping on her foot could ruin her vacation. She would wear the boot for the travel and remove it for the days visiting.

My sweet Mom can do anything. I know this. I also know she doesn’t need to. She has family and friends who want to help. This month, she has another trip planned. Instead of flying with a family member, she is talking about driving 🚙 the 9 hours each way to demonstrate her independence. (To whom, I am unclear.) I think this is a bad idea. My brother’s response – I believe she should drive…straight to the airport.

Why didn’t I think of that line?

So for all the kind people asking how Mom is doing after caring for my dear Dad these past years, she’s doing just fine. The foot healed well and she’s ready for her next adventure. I hope it’s via flight.

(Photo of Mom and the boot relaxing on our flight.)