Kelley Irwin

#one day this week (July 2025), I felt my dear Dad’s presence instead of his absence. The feeling snuck up on me and visited like an old friend.

My dear Dad died in Nov 2024. Every day since then, I have felt the loss of Dad. I reflected on memories, held happy moments in my mind, and celebrated the special relationship I had with my dear Dad. But I felt the absence of him at the dinner table, during family celebrations, and in small moments I would have typically shared with him for connection.

This week, I felt his presence instead of his absence. There was no big moment, no birthday, no anniversary that triggered the feeling. I guess my body and soul were simply ready.

I felt his presence as I put gas in the car (he would always remind me to be careful), as I checked to-do’s off my list (he was a consummate list maker), and as I knelt for communion and unconsciously left a space for him.

I felt his presence as I watched a beautiful sunset, drove on a busy highway, and enjoyed a delicious burger and shake. I felt his presence as I took Mom to see a new water tower. (He would have loved it!)

When you are caring for a loved one with dementia, so many moments become consumed with what is immediately needed for their safety and pleasure.

I didn’t know the real life moments would eventually jump back in to remind me of our whole life together instead of the final years. How could I?