Kelley Irwin

#one day I understood if Dad wasn’t fretting over a situation, I might not need to either. This made all the difference.

When a loved one has dementia, we want to help. If there is no safety issue, it is often kinder to let things play out. This does take patience.

I tried a new approach. It went like this…

Me: Hey Dad. Do you want me to help you with that zipper? (he had been struggling for more than a minute or two with the zipper on his hoodie.)
Dad: No, I think I’m okay.
Me: Okay. Just let me know. (I put some music on my phone to keep things calm. For him, and for me.)
Dad: (5 minutes later) I might need to get a pair of pliers.
Me: What do you need pliers for?
Dad: This zipper is very stubborn.
Me: Sometimes they are stubborn for sure.
Dad: (a few more minutes pass and he gets it) There. Now it’s working.
Me: I knew you could do it, Dad.
Dad: Big smile 😊

I learned along the way with Dad how to adjust my approach. I didn’t know at first. How could I?

(photo of sweatshirt hanging)