Kelley Irwin

One day in January (2025), I went to the mountains and stopped talking.

About a year before my dear Dad died, a thought popped into my head. I need silence. I had never been to a silent retreat and had not met anyone else who had, so this thought was unusual but strong in my mind. A year later, my grief was overwhelming. After the funeral for Dad and the holidays with family, I decided it was time to try it.

I expected…
. Difficulty in being quiet
. Loneliness
. Sorrowful tears thinking of my Dad

I found it was nothing like I imagined. I felt connected.
✅ to the other 10 people, even without words
✅ to nature, to the mountains, to my whole life
✅ to memories flowing through me about my dear Dad.

The memories were wonderful. These were not the thoughts of the last few years, but of our big, bold, happy life together for over 60 years. The thoughts entered when they wanted and I relished each one. A common theme throughout these thoughts was Dad telling me to “go for it”. Learning to ride a bike/drive a car/captain a boat, trying out for sports and band, applying for university, traveling to new places, meeting new people, and starting a family. Dad believing in me every step of the way. Dad telling me jokes when I least expected it and giving serious advice when I most needed it.

Dad taught me to make lists and sit things on the floor by the front door if I didn’t want to forget them. He taught me to enjoy the common things each day in addition to the grand adventures. He modelled loyalty and love in a way that many people never learn…or see.

Dad – I didn’t take you to the mountains, but you sure did join me there. What a magnificent adventure we had. And all in silence. Who knew that could happen?

Maybe you did.