Kelley Irwin

One day last week (July 2024), I asked Dad how he was doing and he told me about his basketball game.

Me: How are you?

Dad: A bit tired after the game.

Me: What game?

Dad: Can’t you remember? (Hmmm, is he teasing me about memory?)

Me: Golf? (He shakes his head), Bowling? (Shakes again)

Dad: Basketball. We won.

Me: Did you play well?

Dad: I had to. My friend said he was off his game so he needed me to step up. I scored the most points.

Me: Good job. I’m happy for you.

It has been 20 months since we received a formal medical diagnosis of dementia.

Dad hasn’t played basketball 🏀 in many years, but he did play in school. He also taught the love of basketball to me and my brothers. I got a basketball hoop for my 40th birthday! I’m happy he has good memories / thoughts of the game and that in his view of the current day, he is still winning.

Some days lately are very hard. Dad whispers and says his voice won’t work, he has trouble figuring out how to hold his fork, he combed his eyebrows with his toothbrush. There is no denying the decline. I am happy for every moment he is engaged in living his life, reality or not.

Photo in 2019 of my parents bowling at a family competition.