Kelley Irwin

One day in Aug 2022, Dad asked me if there was something wrong with the kitchen chairs.

I told him mine felt fine and asked what he thought was wrong. He said they felt worn out and were difficult to sit on.
We were two months away from a formal medical diagnosis of dementia.

My dad maintained his weight at a steady 165 for over 40 years. He was proud of being able to eat what he wanted and be careful now and then so he wouldn’t gain. Over a period of 6 months, he had lost 35 pounds a little at a time. He had plenty of food prepared for him and he was eating what he could. I assume the discomfort in the chairs was a result of less padding on his body. He started eating two of his three meals a day in a more comfortable chair outside on the porch.

Studies have shown that once dementia reaches its final stages, one in every two or three affected people will experience severe weight loss. Weight loss may occur despite the person with advanced dementia being given all the food they want.

Over the next year, he lost another 15 pounds. He eats well every day and enjoys a milkshake treat several times a week. He’s not going to be 165 again. It takes time for me to accept each new reality including weight loss because it’s a reminder of the decline. And the inability for me to fix things for him.

He still enjoys eating. And he loves when he offers me a bite and I take it. That’s my dad.