Kelley Irwin

One day this week (Aug 2023), we talked about funerals. Dad said he wanted people to cry – just a little – at his funeral.

My parents had good friends who lived two doors away. The wife died in December after many years of illness. Her husband had been caring for her throughout and was having a difficult time adjusting. Four months later he was diagnosed with an illness that would take his life in August. The funeral was very somber as the family dealt with this second terrible and unexpected loss.

Mom said how hard it was for her to attend funerals that are this heavy. She reminded us that she wants her funeral to be one where people speak of her wonderful life and don’t shed tears. And wear colourful clothes.

I looked at Dad and asked what he wants. He smiled and said he wants people to be sad. Not sad for him, but sad that he isn’t with them because he always shows up for his family and friends. And then he smiled and said they should cry just a little.

I know this was not his dementia talking. Dad and I have a lot in common. He was serious about the tears. And sincere when he said “just a little”.

(Photo of me with Mom and Dad at church last year on a happier day)