One day in Nov 2022, Dad was calling out that he needed the sheriff because he was being held captive. I cried as I tried to explain the nurses were helping, not hurting him.
He stated many times he had rights as a citizen and I needed to help him break free. His dementia delusions feel as real to him as my reality feels to me. This incident happened in the hospital two days after major surgery.
I held his hand and spoke softly to reassure him and the nurses (bless them) efficiently did what was needed and never judged him for his words or actions. My dad was not happy with me. It was clear he felt I was letting him down and at one point asked with tears in his eyes when I decided to take their side. This moment was heartbreaking to both of us. I would do anything for my dad. He knows that, and I know that, and anyone who has met the two of us knows that. This day, his thoughts were not his own. They were thoughts layered with the disease of dementia and the pain and medication from surgery.
I understand logically the delusions and paranoia a dementia patient can experience. This was not the first time Dad thought something was happening that was not true. It was the first time, but wouldn’t be the last, that he was scared and upset and thought nobody would help him.
One of the only positive side effects of dementia is that he doesn’t remember this moment or how upset he was. For now, he does remember he can count on me. And even when he doesn’t, I’ll still do anything he needs.
(Photo two weeks after this bad day as Dad is healing)
Kelley Irwin 
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