Kelley Irwin

One day last month I arrived to see my dad. He looked up and said “I thought you were dead and started crying.

I quickly hugged him and told him everything was okay. I said maybe you had a bad dream. He was insistent that I was in danger and told me there were four men on their way to Canada to kill me. I reminded him I am a martial arts blackbelt and have been trained to protect myself. He asked if I thought I could handle four of them and I said yes. He nodded and said “Yes, I bet you could.”

I shifted the topic and focused on happier times. That worked on this day, but it doesn’t work every time. The fear, the hallucinations, and the belief his family is in danger are recurring themes with Dad’s dementia. In those moments it is his reality and it’s important to comfort and reassure him no matter how outrageous the story may sound to us.

There is no training that prepared me for this. I’m working my way through it a day at a time.

(Photo from a happier day this year. Dad carrying a golf club to protect me.)