Kelley Irwin

One day in Aug 2022 Mom called, and Dad was missing. This is the dreaded call nobody wants to receive.

My husband and I were visiting with my parents at their house. Dad was in good spirits and trying so hard to feel better. At this time, we were still battling with infection and fever and weakness. Dad was interacting and happy. He mentioned to me in private that he was “losing words”. He described it that he knew what he wanted to tell me, but before he could get to the end of the sentence the word went missing. He still knew what he wanted to say but was unable to finish. I hugged him and we both repeated that it’s hard and not fair.. I felt the weight of knowing my dad was aware what was happening and was comfortable to share his fear with me. We enjoyed the visit and left on a long planned 2-week motorcycle trip.

The next night Mom called. She had taken Dad to the clinic for his fever and new pain, and they had referred him to the hospital. Suspected issues with his spleen. Turned out to be broken ribs and bacterial infection, but we wouldn’t know that right away because Dad went missing.

He said he couldn’t wait any longer and his appointment was for tomorrow (not true). He was insistent that they leave. They went to the front door of the hospital and Mom asked him to wait at the bench as she ran to the parking garage to get the car. She called me as she pulled out of the garage – and as she got to the bench, he was gone. The only sign of him was his shoes.

She found him standing in the grass around the corner and heart rates normalized. (me and Mom, Dad was not upset in any way) She asked why he left the bench, and his only reply was that everything was fine so she should calm down.

We were still 3 months away from a medical dementia diagnosis.